The Examiner.com recently hired me to write a column for their Kansas City page offering relationship advice for men. I haven't gotten started righting my regular posts yet which will most likely be about 1500 words long and will cover topics as investigative and cutting edge as what to say when your girlfriend asks you if her butt looks big or if a war begins to brew between your mother and your lady love. You know, real important stuff.
Until then, here is the post I wrote that got me hired.
In our current tight strapped economy more and more couples are considering shacking up as a temporary means to aleve their cash burdens. Before jumping into bunk-mate status with your partner, consider your motivation, long term changes living together will make to your relationship and what you hope to gain from cohabitation.
New studies have begun to dispel the myth that couples who live together before marriage won’t last, but their success is dependent on a solid commitment at the time of moving in together. If you are considering living with someone for ‘right now’ anticipate that she won’t take kindly to you changing your mind later. When it comes to the progression of a relationship, there is no going back once you share kitchen utensils.
If moving in together seems like a natural progression, then celebrate your new found extra income with time spent maintaining relationships apart from one another. No, making sure to devote time to your buddies does not mean you have one foot out the door. It is an important choice to ensure a healthy balance. Living together can come with all sorts of challenges so make sure that both you and your partner have friends to associate with when you need your own personal time.
Know that living together is not a step to be entered into lightly, so factor in the logistics, your living styles and anticipated gender roles and the level of commitment that sharing more than a bedroom implies. Understand what your partner expects. Is living together a situational necessity, a phase meant to last awhile or is it just a short pit stop on the way to ‘I do’? Be clear in your expectations from the get go and start your next step together on solid ground.
Until then, here is the post I wrote that got me hired.
In our current tight strapped economy more and more couples are considering shacking up as a temporary means to aleve their cash burdens. Before jumping into bunk-mate status with your partner, consider your motivation, long term changes living together will make to your relationship and what you hope to gain from cohabitation.
New studies have begun to dispel the myth that couples who live together before marriage won’t last, but their success is dependent on a solid commitment at the time of moving in together. If you are considering living with someone for ‘right now’ anticipate that she won’t take kindly to you changing your mind later. When it comes to the progression of a relationship, there is no going back once you share kitchen utensils.
If moving in together seems like a natural progression, then celebrate your new found extra income with time spent maintaining relationships apart from one another. No, making sure to devote time to your buddies does not mean you have one foot out the door. It is an important choice to ensure a healthy balance. Living together can come with all sorts of challenges so make sure that both you and your partner have friends to associate with when you need your own personal time.
Know that living together is not a step to be entered into lightly, so factor in the logistics, your living styles and anticipated gender roles and the level of commitment that sharing more than a bedroom implies. Understand what your partner expects. Is living together a situational necessity, a phase meant to last awhile or is it just a short pit stop on the way to ‘I do’? Be clear in your expectations from the get go and start your next step together on solid ground.
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